Part 3 of Resolutions, Routines and Resilience
Resilience is the ability to cope well when faced with problems and setbacks. It’s having the capacity to survive and possibly even thrive in the face of hardship or loss.
Who needs it?
Everyone needs resilience. Both emotional and physical resilience is essential to growth and happiness.
It’s hard to believe but sometimes the things that we find the toughest can actually be good for us. If we have the tools that help us to move through the hard part, we can usually find strength.
Who has it?
Resilient people have certain characteristics including -
They view change as a challenge or as an opportunity
have the support of others
have personal or shared goals
know what they can control and what they can’t
have a sense of humour
are adaptable to change
they are optimistic
How’d they get it?
There is some debate around whether you can be born with resilience traits.
Have you ever noticed some people just appear to be naturally resilient? They’re the ones who remain calm in the face of a challenge. Or you find them doing extras after a big training session while everyone else is throwing up in the corner.
They may have been born with those characteristics or a few of them anyway.
I’ll have some too, please!
Even if someone is genetically blessed with an abundance of resilience, the good news is we can all tap into some of that DNA as well.
Having a strong daily routine gives you a solid foundation to build on. You’re better prepared and more flexible to adjust if things change.
As they say, it’s easier to paddle a canoe on a calm lake. Being prepared allows you to practise better responses to situations as they crop up.
One definition of resilience is that you have learnt to bounce back from challenging experiences. But it can be more than just bouncing back.
Resilience also means growing stronger. Meeting each challenge head-on with a great attitude can build great strength.
Belief is everything
When you start believing in yourself things will start going your way. You can learn to be more resilient.
Take deep breaths. Take action – even if it’s one small thing. Practice mindfulness and take time for daily gratitude.
This will remind us of our strengths and of other things we should be thankful for.
Resilience can help kids navigate stressful situations. As parents we can’t protect our kids from every difficulty they face.
But we can arm them with the skills and confidence they need to work through their problems. They’ll learn what it takes to deal with issues, and they’ll start to believe that they are strong and capable.
Some approaches you may like to try:
Let kids develop their own problem-solving skills
Build a strong connection with your child – when kids know they have your support they feel more confident to work through challenges
Create boundaries for them. Let them know who they can turn to but give them the opportunity to experience for themselves
Encourage them to step outside of their comfort zone from a young age
Set a good example for them, when times get tough, you approach them and talk about the problems rather than waiting until it is all too hard.
Promote a growth mindset by owning mistakes – theirs and yours!
Be a resiliency role model
Exercise with your kids - Your kids seeing you active then it becomes a mindset and they will want to be active with you.
You’ve got this!
Too often when things go wrong, we focus on the problems in front of us. Setbacks aren’t permanent and some could even be seen as an opportunity for growth.
Don't see growth as a negative, see it as a step in the right direction to your better self and possibly a better life path.
We should focus on things that are within our control, have a positive outlook on the future and commit to all aspects of life even when they make us feel uncomfortable and we want to shy away from them.
And remember you don’t have to fly solo. Everything feels less stressful when it’s shared and nurtured by the support of others.
So ask for help, asking is the scariest part as we see it as maybe a sign of weakness or vulnerability, but as I have always learnt ' a problem shared is a problem halved'.